Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links. As a member of an affiliate program, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases, at no extra expense to you.
I’m an advocate for women taking care of themselves – heart, mind and spirit. Sometimes, this means addressing those sticky areas of life where we struggle. For example, do you have annoying habits that you KNOW are bad for you but you can’t seem to quit? I like to refer to these beauties as self-sabotage! That sounds dramatic, but think about it! We know these things are counterproductive to everything we want to be and want to do. Yet, here we go, falling into the same actions and then come out feeling disappointed in ourselves. It’s an ugly and messy feeling. Removing these bad habits will put you on the path to success. As a result, you will feel more confident and valued because you are investing in yourself.
Step 1: Identify your habits
First, what are your bad habits? You’ve probably never done this but, let’s pause and think of the handful of things that you have struggled with for years – decisions, actions, thoughts, maybe it’s letting someone else treat you a certain way, etc. I’m sure you can come up with this list quickly. Mine have been: wasting money, eating out way too much, poor diet choices, procrastination, and a poor attitude. Sounds fun, huh?! Once you have your list, jot them down somewhere.
Step 2: Process
This is the interesting part. Step back and look at your list of habits. Do you see a common thread? In my list of habits it’s a lack of self-discipline. Maybe that’s yours too. Or maybe your list is more around a lack of confidence, an addictive personality, competitiveness, etc. Spend some time on this. Once you have some understanding of where these stem from then you can do some self-care, which is a nice counter to self-sabotage!
In my situation, a lack of self-discipline was pulling my life into a direction I didn’t want it to go. When I think about the amount of money I have wasted buying food that I shouldn’t have been eating I could be sick! That was counter productive to what I wanted to be: financially free and healthy! Even my bad attitude came from a lack of discipline. I would have a bad attitude towards people who were more successful in an area than I was but…it was because they had more self-discipline to become more successful! See, it’s all intertwined. On the paper where you wrote down your original list, jot down the common thread(s) between these habits and underline that! That is really what you’re after.
Step 3: Game Plan
The best thing you can do is understand why you’re doing something, compare that to how it aligns with your vision/goals, and then have a sure-footed action plan in place that will ensure your success in overcoming these bad habits. Let’s get started.
Write down, next to the list of habits, the opposite action. In my example, next to ‘wasting money’ I would write ‘saving money’. Do this for all of them. This not only gives you a glimpse of what could be but gives you a boost of motivation, as it ties reasoning to the importance of removing the bad habit. I can now say to myself, “I would rather save money than waste it.” That’s an easy conversation I can have with myself in the moment of temptation and I can’t argue against it! I either save money or waste money. It really helps to say it out loud to yourself.
Step 4: Execute
Lastly, let’s revisit our ‘common thread’. What does the opposite of that look like for you and how does it make you feel? Chances are, it would be a brighter day, make you feel more comfortable and confident. That’s EVERYTHING that you deserve! You deserve to feel great about yourself and your ability every single day! This is your motivation and reasoning to kick these bad habits. You were made for so much more. Get out of your own way!
A Helpful Resource
Check out this short clip from Mel Robbins, who is fabulous by the way. She says, “motivation is garbage!” In the end, it’s not enough to wait around until you ‘feel’ like changing something. You have to have the understanding of why it’s necessary and then go after it! Mel addresses why change can be difficult and scary, which leads to her trademark teaching of the 5 second rule. I’ll do a post on that later but if you have time, watch some additional YouTube clips on her.
I hope this exercise was helpful for you. Most importantly, I hope you know how valuable you are and that YOU are worth the effort of working through these things. Let me know your thoughts and experiences after working through this! I’m excited for you to transition from self-sabotage to self-care! Remember, YOU are a lady well-loved!