Disclaimer: this post may contain affiliate links. As a member of an affiliate program, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases, at no extra expense to you.
“Sometimes, life’s biggest challenges isn’t what’s in front of us, but what’s taken place behind us.”
It’s really interesting how the past is such an inhibitor to so many, leaving people broken, living in fear and feeling unloved. We wish we could “just move on” like our friends or family tell us. Here’s the thing, no one should be living like this. You are worth more than your past. But why is this so hard understand and apply for so many women? So many of us are overburdened, tired and left in a frozen state by the past that we can’t put to rest. In this article, we focus on why we hold onto the past, how it’s hindering ourselves and families, and some resources to start taking steps in the direction of healing.
Nurtures by nature.
By nature, women are nurtures and what a beautiful process this is. We are nature’s incubators, carrying the life of our offspring until their birth, at which point, we’re able to nourish and sustain them from our own body. Beyond the role of motherhood, we can take a house and make a home with warmth and comfort. We can develop relationships needed for business deals or can lend our intellect, labor and skills to organizations and help them grow and make an impact. As women, we have the ability to take something, anything, and multiply it.
The very definition of a ‘nurture’ is the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.
This stuck out to me, as even the definition assumes that we’re doing this for someone/something other than ourselves.
Now, this is not to say there are never benefits received on our end. For example, you nurture a child and receive much joy from that. You put hard work into your hobby and receive fulfillment from that.
Here’s the thing, the reason I wanted to pause on this, is to acknowledge that sometimes we nurture things, even when the impact to us is, actually, negative. Our interaction with the past is a great example of this.
Instead of pouring ourselves into:
- Our families
- Our futures
Many times, we opt to hold onto our:
When we live in state of hurting versus healing, we wear a blinder. Check out this video, by Joyce Meyer, to illustrate this point. This cracks me up but I know I’ve felt like this before!
When you carry burdens that aren’t yours, you hinder yourself.
This is where the reel of negative self-talk can be put on repeat in our minds telling us that we’re not good enough, we’re too broken, we’ll never heal or be able to move on, and that we don’t deserve to be happy.
Rest assured, sister, this is not the state you were meant to be living in.
As a woman, you are bogged down when carrying burdens that aren’t yours, you are missing the calling of achieving your destiny, as well as, shaping your household. I don’t say this in a convicting way, but as encouragement. Your purpose is for great things! Your power, as a woman, is invaluable to this world. What is inside of you can change the world. Whether that’s a business, a non-profit, helping hands, or, the biggest defense against a broken world, a strong household. I’m a big fan of Mother Teresa’s quote, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
This is hard to do when you’re hurting or hindered by the burden of the past.
Listen to these words of love by Bishop TD Jakes.
I hope that this provides you with encouragement to not hold onto “your history at the expense of your destiny.” I love when TD Jakes says, “It [the past] is not stronger than me.” If you’ve never been told that before, I’m telling you now, YOUR past is NOT stronger than YOU. Therefore, make that declaration today. We find instruction in the Bible, in Philippians,
“Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.”Philippians 3:13
If you’d like some more in depth teaching on this, check out TD Jake’s newest book Let It Go. I have this in my Audible queue and am so excited to read! He’s such a powerful teacher.
Or, if you’re more of a listener, check out this study with Joyce Meyer on Refuse to be Trapped by Your Past. This is almost a two hour teaching and is FULL of goodness. You will not hear this and have no change in your spirit! You can open it here and then bookmark it for another time, if need be. Give yourself some love and watch this!
Put that burden down, sister. You are not meant to carry that.
This article isn’t meant to be ‘the answer’ but rather an encouragement to put the past down. Failures, abuse, mistakes, rejection. As a broken world, we’ve experienced tragedies of many forms. Understand that you don’t own those things. You don’t need to nurture those things. Instead, nurture yourself. Nurture your future and your family.
Remember, YOU are a lady well-loved!